so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
