he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
