Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
