i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
