my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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