He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
