sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
