absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
