is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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