That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
