just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
