it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
