After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
