i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
