Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
