im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I could fuck to npr.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
