you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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