In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
