Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
40s are totally the cure
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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