nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
