Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
