Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
