Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
