Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
