best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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