Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I need a beard to bite.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
