I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
