the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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