I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
