It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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