I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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