I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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