omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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