I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
