Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
you never un-have a 4some
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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