so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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