rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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