I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
