You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She's the barista slut.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
