Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
