anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
two words...techno handjob
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
