I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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