we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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