Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
