the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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