How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
