bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
