I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
