Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
