my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
