After last night, I could never be a politician.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
